yesterday:















today:














:O
and no lol, i'm not emo. its no self-inflicted wound or anything. well.. it was self-inflicted but it was an accident. damn fries basket -sniffles-
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anywho. yeah I know I said hiatus but I needa just get all this off my chest so I can just.. move on, keep living my life, start fresh, whatever lame cliches lol. sorry in advance for all the profanities
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You hurt me. You may not know it, and you sure as hell won't care but you did. You did, you do, and you continue to. But you know what? I'm not gonna keep letting you destroy my life. I won't let it eat away at me until I'm completely gone. Because I don't deserve that. And you don't deserve the satisfaction of knowing that I fucken fell hard for you, when you didn't even cushion the fall; didn't even bother trying to make it better.

So what exactly did you think you would accomplish in not telling me? Think you were protecting me? Think that I wouldnt've wanted to know? Do you think that I'm so stupid that I wouldn't have ever found out at all? Well you don't know me at all do you. I'm not fucking stupid. Well maybe I was. WAS. I was stupid in thinking so high of you, when really you're .<-THIS big. Yeah, you're THAT big to me, that's how much RESPECT I have left of you, that's how much is left of EVERYTHING. Every single little fucking thing. It would've been so much better hearing it from you, but you know you're THATT much of a fucken selfish coward that a friend had to tell me. Yeah they knew all along, but you know what they said to me? They said they didn't tell me because they thought it'd be better if you told me yourself but you never did. HA. You fucking COWARD.

Yes I'm angry okay? Because you pretty much lied. You're too much of an IDIOT to think that maybe I wanted to know. And maybe I wanted to hear it from you. You don't have any respect for me at all do you? Sure it would've hurt. I would've been sad, cried, did other shit like that but then you know I would've GOTTEN OVER IT. I would've thought, 'Hey, he cared enough to tell me, so now it's time for me to just move on. And keep him in my life' But now, now all I think is that you never cared AT ALL enough to know that I would've wanted the truth. Because you never told me YOURSELF all I can think of are a string of profanities directed to no other but you. Haha look what you've done, you asshole.

And you know what, yeah. Yeah it's my fault anyway. It's my fault for ever caring. Mine for ever thinking that you did. Yeah, it's my fault for liking you but you know YOU'RE NOT FUCKING INNOCENT IN THIS, OKAY? It's as much YOUR fault as it is MINE. No matter how contradictory this whole fucken paragraph sounds, yeah it's your fault. And it's my fault. It's our fucking fault and I'm fucking sorry for ever bothering to care okay? I'm sorry I ever believed that you were actually a nice guy, that you actually cared about me. Sorry I had so much more faith in you than I should have had.

Because you took that, you took it and you threw it all down and walked away and didn't ever stop to look back at the MESS that you created. The mess that YOU put me in and the fucking wreck that YOU MADE OF ME. You completely destroyed me, and then you turned around and left.

All those promises, all the things you said, all the lies you fed to me. It just makes me SICK to think I ever believed you. That you'd actually be there, that you actually cared. Haha well you're not here now are you. It's fine though. I don't need you, alright? I want you to know that. I want you to know that you walked out of my life yet again, and I won't let you come back this time. It's not fair on myself and it only feeds your already gi-fucking-gantic ego.

So I'm finally walking away from the nothing that's left of us. I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. EVER. I just want you to know that. And if ever you decide to come waltzing back into my life thinking everything's okay with me, be careful. Be fucking careful, and choose your words wisely. Because if you say the wrong thing, if you hurt me ONE MORE MOTHERFUCKING TIME then you just might be faced with a black eye and a kick in the balls. Not that you have any anyway, am I right? ha.

You've shown to me that you can live without me. I can see that you don't need me because you're so happy without me. So if it's the last thing I do I will prove to you that I can live without you. I will prove to MYSELF that I don't need you anymore, I will be a better person without you.

Goodbye, and good riddance.





so happy one fucking month, you dickhead. don't fucking hurt her. or this whole fucken thing would have been for nothing you hear me?