Even if I said I didn't care a million times over again, you'd know that I still do.





















Dearest you,
I'm Sorry. I'm so so very very sorry. You can say it's not my fault all you want, say it's yours but I know deep down that it really was my fault. I knew I was cutting it too close. I knew I was going too far, getting in way over my head. I knew that one day it would just.. blow up in my face. Deep down in the back of my mind I knew that I'd wake up one day and finally realize that I'd gone too far. That I had to stop before causing any serious damage to not only myself, but to you. And to her. To the both of you.

I guess I should've known better, to believe that my luck could change.

It just got too much for me to handle. All the tears, the pain, the screaming and crying and hurting. Everything. And I knewww it was time to stop. I had to do it. It was the right thing to do. Because it was either I let go and be hurt, or stay where I was, with the both of us ending up getting hurt. And I chose to let go. Because honestly, who would want to be the reason for someone to be in so much pain. To be hurting, to be sad, insecure, jealous. Then again you kind of put me through a lot of pain. But then again again I think I'm putting youu through a lot of pain now too. You and me both.

Guess it's just better, for me to let go, move on. Rather than to hold on, and be hurt.

I'm sorry. It's all I have left to say. To you. To her. To myself. It's all I can say. The only thing that I'm sure of right now. That and, I miss you. My god I do. I'm a mess. Forget about me. What if I don't want to? What if the only thing in the world that I want to do is to keep you in my life. I don't want to forget about you. Why would I? You mean so much to me. I don't want to just let that go. I don't want to let you go. Do you want to forget about me? Ack, what a mess.

And I can't take it, the way I could before. I'm stuck on you.

And now I'm stuck. Stuck somewhere. Stuck. I can't move. I don't know where to go from here. What to do. Now what? I don't know. I don't know and I can't take this anymore. I've been crying myself to sleep since Wednesday. Every little thing I do. Reminds me of not only you. Us. Everything. Blah blah blah.

I guess it really is, goodbye.

I'm sorry. Again. Over and over and over again. And for what it's worth I really do love you, very much. And I miss you. So much. Already.

With every bit of me,
Nina.


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sigh. anyways. i know long time no blog. i'm probably gonna... sell some old clothes on this soon haha. following in the footsteps of lizzieee lols.

xo.

Labels: miscellaneous, stuff, ugh